How to Be Happier: 12 Research-Backed Habits (Without Faking It)
Everyone wants to be happier. Few people agree on what that means. Some imagine constant joy. Others imagine never feeling bad. Both are impossible, and chasing them makes people miserable.
Here is a more honest goal: feeling good a bit more often, feeling bad a bit less often, and being more satisfied with your life as a whole. That is roughly what researchers mean by happiness. And it is very reachable.
What research says makes people happier
People come first
In a study of college students, the happiest 10% were highly social and had strong romantic and other social relationships; none of them were socially isolated (Diener & Seligman, 2002). Good relationships were necessary but not sufficient on their own. Across 148 studies, stronger social relationships were also linked with about 50% greater likelihood of survival (Holt-Lunstad, Smith & Layton, 2010).
Attention matters
Using a phone app that pinged thousands of people at random moments, researchers found that minds wandered about 47% of the time, and people were less happy when their minds wandered than when they were focused, whatever they were doing (Killingsworth & Gilbert, 2010). Being present is not just a nice idea. It is measurably linked with feeling better.
Giving beats getting
People given money to spend on others felt happier than those told to spend it on themselves (Dunn, Aknin & Norton, 2008). Doing kind acts lifts the giver's wellbeing too (Curry et al., 2018).
Movement and nature help
A large review of reviews found that physical activity improved symptoms of depression, anxiety and distress (Singh et al., 2023). A walk in nature reduced rumination compared with a city walk (Bratman et al., 2015).
Money matters, up to a point and in some ways
For years, a famous study suggested day-to-day emotional wellbeing stopped rising above about US$75,000 a year (Kahneman & Deaton, 2010). Later work found that for most people it keeps rising with income, but for the least happy people it levels off around US$100,000 (Killingsworth, Kahneman & Mellers, 2023). In other words, money eases many problems, but it cannot fix unhappiness on its own.
Meaning is not the same as happiness
Happiness was linked with feeling good now; meaning was linked with giving and connecting past, present and future (Baumeister et al., 2013). The fullest lives tend to have both. See how to make your life meaningful.
Happiness is easier in good company. Our tribe shares small daily tasks for body, mind and kindness. Request to join.
12 habits to be happier
1. See someone you like, every week
Put one standing plan in the calendar: a walk, a meal, a call. If your circle is small, start with our complete guide to loneliness.
2. Put the phone away during conversations
Full attention is a gift to them and to you.
3. Move for 10 minutes a day
A brisk walk counts. Build from there. See healthy habits for beginners.
4. Get outside, ideally among trees
Daylight, air, green. Even a short walk in a park.
5. Write three good things before bed
Writing three things that went well each day, and why, increased happiness and reduced depressive symptoms for up to six months in one study (Seligman et al., 2005). Our 75 gratitude journal prompts keep it fresh.
6. Do one kind act a day
In research by Sonja Lyubomirsky and colleagues, doing five kind acts in one day each week boosted happiness (Lyubomirsky, Sheldon & Schkade, 2005). Our 200 kindness ideas will never run dry.
7. Spend on others and on experiences
A coffee for a friend. A shared day out. A gift for no reason.
8. Do one thing with full focus
Cook, draw, play music, fix something. Absorbing activities quiet the wandering mind.
9. Protect sleep
Tired people feel everything more sharply. Aim for 7 to 9 hours. See evening routine.
10. Stop comparing
Comparing your inside with other people's highlights drains happiness. Read how to stop comparing yourself to others.
11. Work towards something that matters to you
Progress towards goals you chose is a steady source of satisfaction. Start with the complete guide to finding your purpose.
12. Be kind to yourself on bad days
Bad days are part of a good life. Self-compassion helps you recover faster. See self-compassion.
Happiness myths
- "I'll be happy when..." The new job, house or relationship brings a lift, and then life returns to normal surprisingly fast.
- "Happy people never feel bad." They do. They recover faster and are less shaken by comparison.
- "Positive thinking is enough." Forcing positive thoughts can backfire. Real changes in how you spend your time work better.
- "Happiness is selfish." The research says the opposite: giving and connecting are among the strongest routes.
A 7-day happiness experiment
- Day 1: 10-minute walk outside. Three good things before bed.
- Day 2: One kind act for someone who will not expect it.
- Day 3: One conversation with your phone in another room.
- Day 4: One hour of something absorbing.
- Day 5: Spend a small amount on someone else.
- Day 6: Plan a meet-up with a friend for next week.
- Day 7: Review: which day felt best? Keep that habit.
When it is more than unhappiness
Habits help ordinary low days. They are not a treatment for depression. If you have felt low or empty most days for two weeks or more, lost interest in almost everything, or have thoughts of harming yourself, please talk to a doctor. In a crisis, call your local emergency number, call or text 988 in the US and Canada, call Samaritans on 116 123 in the UK and Ireland, or find a free helpline at findahelpline.com. See our crisis help page.
A task for today
Text one person you like: "Are you free for a walk this week?" Then go outside for ten minutes. Tonight, write down three good things. That is the whole recipe for today.
If you want a small daily task that makes life a little brighter, and a tribe to do it with: request to join.
Walking beside you,
The Chief
Sources
- Diener, E., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2002). Very happy people. Psychological Science, 13(1), 81-84. doi.org/10.1111/1467-9280.00415
- Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk. PLoS Medicine, 7(7), e1000316. doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000316
- Killingsworth, M. A., & Gilbert, D. T. (2010). A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Science, 330(6006), 932. doi.org/10.1126/science.1192439
- Dunn, E. W., Aknin, L. B., & Norton, M. I. (2008). Spending money on others promotes happiness. Science, 319(5870), 1687-1688. doi.org/10.1126/science.1150952
- Curry, O. S., Rowland, L. A., Van Lissa, C. J., et al. (2018). Happy to help? Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 76, 320-329. doi.org/10.1016/j.jesp.2018.02.014
- Singh, B., Olds, T., Curtis, R., et al. (2023). Effectiveness of physical activity interventions for improving depression, anxiety and distress. British Journal of Sports Medicine, 57(18), 1203-1209. doi.org/10.1136/bjsports-2022-106195
- Bratman, G. N., Hamilton, J. P., Hahn, K. S., Daily, G. C., & Gross, J. J. (2015). Nature experience reduces rumination and subgenual prefrontal cortex activation. PNAS, 112(28), 8567-8572. doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1510459112
- Kahneman, D., & Deaton, A. (2010). High income improves evaluation of life but not emotional well-being. PNAS, 107(38), 16489-16493. doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1011492107
- Killingsworth, M. A., Kahneman, D., & Mellers, B. (2023). Income and emotional well-being: A conflict resolved. PNAS, 120(10), e2208661120. doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2208661120
- Baumeister, R. F., Vohs, K. D., Aaker, J. L., & Garbinsky, E. N. (2013). Some key differences between a happy life and a meaningful life. The Journal of Positive Psychology, 8(6), 505-516. doi.org/10.1080/17439760.2013.830764
- Seligman, M. E. P., Steen, T. A., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress. American Psychologist, 60(5), 410-421. doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.60.5.410
- Lyubomirsky, S., Sheldon, K. M., & Schkade, D. (2005). Pursuing happiness: The architecture of sustainable change. Review of General Psychology, 9(2), 111-131. doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.9.2.111
Related reading: Gratitude journal prompts · How to be happy alone · Benefits of kindness
Questions
How can I be happier every day?
Build a few small habits: move your body, get outside, put the phone away during conversations, do one kind thing, write three good things before bed, and spend time with people you like. Small actions repeated daily tend to help more than big one-off changes.
What is the secret to happiness?
There is no single secret, but research keeps pointing to the same things: close relationships, meaningful activity, attention to the present, physical health and generosity. Chasing happiness directly often works less well than living in a way that makes it likely.
Does money make you happier?
Up to a point and in some ways. Recent research found that emotional well-being rises with income for most people, though for the least happy people it levels off around higher incomes. Spending money on others and on experiences tends to bring more happiness than spending on things.
Can you choose to be happier?
You cannot simply decide to feel happy, but you can choose habits and environments that make good feelings more likely. Research on positive activities shows modest but real improvements.
Why am I not happy even though my life is good?
Common reasons include comparison, exhaustion, loneliness, lack of meaning, too much time on screens, or depression. If you feel flat or hopeless most days for two weeks or more, please speak to a doctor.
General information for wellbeing, not medical, psychological or financial advice. If you are struggling, see crisis help.