Men's Mental Health: Signs, Why Men Don't Ask for Help, and What Helps (Movember 2026)

By The Chief · 2026-11-03 · 5 min read · sources checked

If you are thinking about ending your life, please stop reading and reach out now. Call your local emergency number. In the US and Canada call or text 988. In the UK and Ireland call Samaritans on 116 123 (free, 24/7). In Australia call Lifeline on 13 11 14. Elsewhere: findahelpline.com. More on our crisis help page. You matter more than you can feel right now.

November is Movember, the month when moustaches appear for a good cause: men's health, including mental health and suicide prevention (Movember). It is a good month to say something that many men find hard to say, or to hear:

I'm not doing as well as I look.

Why men's mental health needs attention

• More than 720,000 people die by suicide every year worldwide (WHO), and in most countries men die by suicide at higher rates than women.
• Men are more likely to die by suicide than women, and less likely to have received mental health treatment in the past year, according to the US National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH).

The gap is not because men feel less. It is often because men show it differently, and ask for help later.

Signs that are easy to miss in men

Depression in men does not always look like sadness. Watch for:

1. Anger, irritability or a short fuse.
2. Working all the time, or throwing yourself into the gym, the garage or a screen.
3. Drinking more, or using drugs to switch off.
4. Taking risks: driving fast, gambling, picking fights.
5. Pulling away from friends, family and things you used to enjoy.
6. Sleeping badly, or sleeping all the time.
7. Physical complaints: headaches, stomach problems, aches, tiredness.
8. Feeling numb or flat rather than sad.
9. Trouble concentrating or making decisions.
10. Thoughts that others would be better off without you.

NIMH lists similar signs, including anger, irritability, aggression, changes in mood and energy, misuse of alcohol or drugs, and thoughts of suicide (NIMH). A review of research on masculinity and depression also describes how men's distress can show up as anger, substance use and withdrawal (Seidler et al., 2016).

Why many men don't ask for help

The same review found that conforming to traditional masculine norms, such as self-reliance, emotional control and not showing weakness, was linked with less willingness to seek help (Seidler et al., 2016). Psychologists Michael Addis and James Mahalik argued that help-seeking also depends on context: men are more likely to ask for help when it feels normal among their peers, when they can give something back, and when asking does not cost them respect (Addis & Mahalik, 2003).

That is useful to know. It means the answer is not "men should just talk more". It is making it normal, practical and mutual.

Many men don't need a therapist's couch first. They need a circle around a fire where they are allowed to be honest. If you want that: request to join.

What helps

For yourself

• Tell one person. Not everyone. One. "I've been struggling lately." That sentence is strength, not weakness.
• See a doctor. Depression and anxiety are common and treatable. A GP or family doctor is a good first step.
• Move your body. Walking, lifting, running, swimming: regular activity is good for mood. See how much exercise you need.
• Watch the alcohol. It may numb the evening, but it tends to make low mood and sleep worse.
• Protect your sleep. A regular bedtime is boring and powerful.
• Find side-by-side connection. Many men talk more easily while doing something together: a walk, a game, a project, a sport. Read the male loneliness epidemic and how to make friends as an adult.
• Give your days a purpose. Purpose and usefulness are protective for many men. See how to find your purpose in life.

For someone you're worried about

1. Choose a private moment, ideally side by side: a drive, a walk, a job you are doing together.
2. Ask directly: "How are you really doing? You've seemed a bit off lately."
3. Ask twice. If he says "fine", try: "Are you sure? I'm asking because I care."
4. Listen more than you speak. You do not need to fix it.
5. Encourage action: a doctor's appointment, a helpline, one trusted person.
6. Check in again in a few days. Persistence says you meant it.
7. If you are worried about suicide, ask directly: "Are you thinking about ending your life?" Asking does not put the idea in someone's head. If the answer is yes, stay with him and contact a crisis line or emergency services together.

Movember ideas that help

• Grow a moustache (or take on a challenge) and use the conversations it starts.
• Organise a walk with the men in your life and make the only rule "one honest answer each".
• Message three male friends this month and ask how they really are.
• Learn the crisis line number for your country and save it in your phone.

Help, by country

• Emergency: your local emergency number (112, 911, 999, 000...).
• US and Canada: call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline).
• UK and Ireland: Samaritans, 116 123.
• Australia: Lifeline, 13 11 14.
• Everywhere else: findahelpline.com lists free, confidential helplines.

A task for this week

If you are struggling: tell one person, in one sentence. If you are doing fine: ask one man in your life how he really is, and ask twice. Either way, you just did something for men's mental health.

If you want a tribe where honesty is welcome and nobody walks alone: request to join.

Walking beside you,

The Chief

Sources

• World Health Organization. Suicide (fact sheet). who.int
• National Institute of Mental Health. Men and mental health. nimh.nih.gov
• Seidler, Z. E., Dawes, A. J., Rice, S. M., Oliffe, J. L., & Dhillon, H. M. (2016). The role of masculinity in men's help-seeking for depression: A systematic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 49, 106-118. doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2016.09.002
• Addis, M. E., & Mahalik, J. R. (2003). Men, masculinity, and the contexts of help seeking. American Psychologist, 58(1), 5-14. doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.58.1.5
• Movember. movember.com

Related reading: The male loneliness epidemic · 12 signs you're lonely · What to do when you feel lonely

General information for wellbeing, not medical, psychological or financial advice. If you are struggling, see crisis help.