How to Motivate Yourself When You Have No Motivation: 12 Ways That Work
You know what you should do. Go for a run. Start the project. Clean the kitchen. Call your mother. Apply for the job. And yet you sit there, waiting for a feeling that never comes, while the day leaks away.
Here is the secret almost nobody tells you: the people who get things done are not more motivated than you. They just stopped waiting to feel like it.
Why waiting for motivation fails
We tend to think the sequence is: feel motivated, then act. For most important things, it is the other way round: act, then feel motivated. Motivation is less a fuel you need before starting and more an exhaust that comes from moving.
Therapists use this principle in an approach called behavioural activation: plan small, valued actions and do them, and let mood follow. You can borrow the idea without the clinic.
Two kinds of motivation
Psychologists Richard Ryan and Edward Deci developed self-determination theory, one of the most studied ideas about motivation. It distinguishes doing something because you are pushed by outside pressure (rewards, guilt, fear) from doing it because it matters to you or interests you. The theory says we are most deeply motivated when three needs are met (Ryan & Deci, 2000):
- Autonomy: it feels like your choice.
- Competence: you feel you can get better at it.
- Relatedness: you feel connected to other people in it.
Keep those three words in mind. Most of the tips below quietly serve one of them.
12 ways to motivate yourself
1. Find your own reason
Ask: Why does this matter to me, not to my boss, my parents or the internet? Write the answer in one sentence. "I want to run so I can climb hills with my children" moves you more than "I should exercise."
2. Make the first step embarrassingly small
Not "write the report": open the document and type the title. Not "get fit": put on your trainers. Two minutes is enough. Starting is the hardest part, and tiny starts slip past the part of you that resists.
3. Use an if-then plan
Decide exactly when and where: "If it is 7 a.m. and the kettle is on, then I write for ten minutes." A meta-analysis of 94 studies found that these implementation intentions had a medium-to-large effect on reaching goals (Gollwitzer & Sheeran, 2006). Decide in advance, and the moment does the deciding for you.
4. Bundle it with something you enjoy
Researchers at Wharton gave people audiobooks they could only listen to at the gym. Those with the "temptation bundle" went to the gym more often, at least at first (Milkman, Minson & Volpp, 2014). Favourite podcast only on walks. Special coffee only while doing your paperwork.
5. Count small wins
Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer studied thousands of diary entries from workers and found that making progress in meaningful work, even small progress, was one of the strongest boosters of motivation on any given day (Amabile & Kramer, Harvard Business Review, 2011). Keep a "done" list next to your to-do list. Look at it in the evening.
6. Make it visible
A calendar with crosses, a jar with a marble for every session, a streak in an app. Seeing a chain grow makes you want to keep it going.
If you want daily tasks, a streak and people who notice when you show up: request to join.
7. Do it with someone
Relatedness is one of the three needs. Book the walk with a friend. Work alongside someone (even on a video call). Tell one person your plan and ask them to check in on Friday.
8. Change the room, not your character
Want to read more? Leave the book on your pillow. Want to eat better? Put fruit at eye level and hide the biscuits. Your environment shapes your behaviour more than your willpower does.
9. Remove one obstacle tonight
Lay out your clothes. Prepare tomorrow's lunch. Write the first line of the email. Each obstacle you remove tonight is one less reason to stall tomorrow.
10. Take care of the engine
Motivation is very hard on four hours of sleep, no daylight and a diet of sugar and screens. Sometimes the answer to "how do I get motivated?" is "go to bed at 10 for a week."
11. Forgive the off day
You will miss days. The question is not whether you slip, but how fast you return. Use a simple rule: never miss twice in a row. Read more in how to be more disciplined.
12. Connect to something bigger than you
People often find energy for others that they cannot find for themselves. Who benefits if you do this? Your children, a friend, a stranger, your future self? Name them. Do it for them.
Motivation for specific situations
To exercise: pack the bag the night before, choose an activity you do not hate, and commit only to the first five minutes. Walking counts. So does dancing in the kitchen.
To study or work: close every tab except the one you need, set a timer for 25 minutes, and work until it rings. Then take five minutes off. Four rounds is a solid morning.
To clean: set a timer for 15 minutes and do one room only. Music helps. Stopping when the timer rings is allowed.
To change your life: do not start with the life. Start with tomorrow morning. One earlier alarm, one walk, one page written. Lives change one morning at a time. Our free 30-day challenge generator will give you a month of small first steps.
When you are grieving or exhausted: lower the bar further than feels reasonable. Shower. Eat something. Step outside. On some days, that is the whole of the work, and it is enough.
When it is not laziness
If you have felt flat, empty or hopeless most days for more than two weeks, lost interest in things you used to love, or are sleeping and eating very differently, that may be more than low motivation. Please talk to a doctor. Free, confidential helplines in your country are at findahelpline.com. It is not weakness to ask. It is care.
A task for today
Pick the one thing you have been putting off the longest. Write down:
- Why it matters to you (one sentence).
- The smallest possible first step (two minutes or less).
- When and where you will do it today (an if-then plan).
Then do the two minutes. If you want to stop after that, stop. Most people do not.
Motivation is not a mood you wait for. It is a fire you light with small sticks.
If you want company while you light it: request to join.
Walking beside you,
The Chief
Sources
- Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68-78. doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68
- Gollwitzer, P. M., & Sheeran, P. (2006). Implementation intentions and goal achievement: A meta-analysis of effects and processes. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 69-119. doi.org/10.1016/S0065-2601(06)38002-1
- Milkman, K. L., Minson, J. A., & Volpp, K. G. M. (2014). Holding the Hunger Games hostage at the gym: An evaluation of temptation bundling. Management Science, 60(2), 283-299. doi.org/10.1287/mnsc.2013.1784
- Amabile, T. M., & Kramer, S. J. (2011). The power of small wins. Harvard Business Review, May 2011. hbr.org
Related reading: How to stop procrastinating · How long does it take to form a habit? · The 30-day self-improvement challenge · How to build confidence · How to get out of a rut
Questions
Why do I have no motivation?
Common reasons include tiredness, a goal that feels too big or not truly yours, no clear first step, fear of failing, and low mood. Sometimes the problem is not motivation at all but exhaustion. If you have lost interest in almost everything for more than two weeks, speak to a doctor.
How do I motivate myself when I feel lazy?
Lower the bar until it is almost silly (two minutes, one page, one push-up), start, and let action create the feeling. Motivation usually follows starting, not the other way round.
What is intrinsic motivation?
Intrinsic motivation means doing something because it is interesting, meaningful or enjoyable in itself, rather than for a reward or to avoid punishment. Self-determination theory links it with three needs: autonomy, competence and relatedness.
What is an if-then plan?
An if-then plan (implementation intention) links a situation to an action: 'If it is 7 a.m. and I have made coffee, then I will write for ten minutes.' A large review found these plans help people act on their goals.
General information for wellbeing, not medical, psychological or financial advice. If you are struggling, see crisis help.